


Poison

by hulagal621



Category: Attack on Titan, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Anxiety, Bisexual Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss, Car Sex, College Student Armin Arlert, College Student Eren Yeager, College Student Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss, College Student Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), College Student Mikasa Ackerman, Complicated Relationships, Drinking, Drunk Sex, Emotional Manipulation, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Gay Ymir (Shingeki no Kyojin), Good Sibling Zeke Yeager, Hange Zoë & Levi Are Best Friends, Healthy Relationships, Hurt/Comfort, Levi & Erwin Smith Friendship, Mikasa Ackerman & Levi Are Not Related, Minor Levi/Petra Ral, Minor Mikasa Ackerman/Jean Kirstein, Minor Sasha Blouse/Connie Springer, Modern Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Nonbinary Hange Zoë, Oral Sex, POV First Person, Party, Present Tense, Public Sex, Reader-Insert, Rough Sex, Sasha Blouse Being Sasha Blouse, Scientist Hange Zoë, Secret Relationship, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Content, Smoking, Smut, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:28:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29296656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hulagal621/pseuds/hulagal621
Summary: He might've confessed his feelings, but Eren Jaeger can't quit his old tendencies. After one night alone with him, his true colors present themselves. Yet, something's telling you to hold on, even though the idea you have of him in your head is not who he actually is.
Relationships: Eren Yeager/Reader, Jean Kirstein/Reader, Levi/Petra Ral
Comments: 4
Kudos: 95
Collections: Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Before I get into this chapter, this is a part two of Eren x Reader Seven Minutes in Heaven, but it’s going to be an entire chapter book, not only seven minutes in heaven on wattpad. There is also a POV change from third person to first person. It’s in the reader’s POV. This book starts off two weeks after the end of the first book, but this chapter has a flashback of a few hours after the first book. @kittensnakes on A03 helped me edit, you guys should check out her work!

Men ain’t shit. I’ve been laying in my bed for three weeks, waiting for a stupid text back. My mind is clouded by my thoughts as I sulk around my own bedroom because I fell in love with a boy who fed me lies. 

I text Sasha asking if she can come over, she quickly replies telling me she's on her way.

Once Sasha arrives, she immediately walks in and heads over to me. This is basically her house too. “I brought some snacks to help you feel better,” She holds up a bag of hot cheetos and sour gummy worms. 

I pull Sasha into a tight hug, “those are my favorite!” I cheer ecstatically before pulling away from her grasp.

“I’d never forget,” she smiles, “So now tell me, what’s wrong. I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

We both grab seats on the couch and turn to face each other, “Eren completely ghosted me since the last time I saw him. And to think he liked me back.” 

“When was the last time you hung out with him?” She opens the bag of chips and pops one in her mouth. 

“It was the night you invited me over to hang out with everyone, as soon as you guys found us in the closet, he whispered in my ear offering to come over to his place once we were ready to leave.” 

Sasha gasps, smacking her hand over her mouth, “Did you?” muffles out against her hand. 

“Wait, I’m getting there. It was when we were leaving your place,” I can remember the exact tone he used too.

* * *

“Where’re you heading?” A car blasting music slows down to a stop next to me and I turn my head to see Eren with his windows rolled down as he reaches for the car stereo to turn it down. Sasha’s party ended and I began my walk home, which sucks because it’s cold enough for me to see my own breath and I forgot a jacket. I didn’t have time to process what happened in the closet, and now I won’t get the chance with him here. Yet I became warm as my eyes locked with his. 

“I’m just walking back to my place.”

“Walking?” He emphasizes, shaking his head. “Get in.”

“No, I’m fine. Thanks for the offer though.” Truth be told, I don’t want to be with him right now. I already embarrassed myself enough back at the party.

“What kind of guy would I be if I let you walk home alone in the cold. And I already asked you earlier, didn’t I?”

He’s right, but that won’t change the fact that he made me his bitch back there. Is he only going to take me home? I settle into the seat, the cushion is welcoming and I feel like I’m drowning in the buzz that being around Eren gives me. Horny is one hell of a drug, I almost say aloud, thank god I didn't. Being around him is a slipping slope, I find that all the thoughts in my head try to escape when I’m with him. I chose not to respond, my arms wrap around my torso in an attempt to keep myself guarded, I know it won't last for long. Yeah, what kind of guy would he be for leaving me out in the cold? 

Eren’s fingers leave the driver’s wheel, they dance along the console, searching for the AUX button to switch from the radio. It makes a clicking sound when he presses it and immediately I recognize the smooth bass of the song playing. 

Know you ride it right  
I might just die tonight

Is he serious? Maybe it was just the first song on his top playlist, whatever. But maybe, I let myself consider, he’s trying to set the mood? He’s being nice, at best, making sure he doesn’t look like a massive dick to any passerby. I wouldn’t mind letting him have his way with me, though.

But you know i’m still coming through baby  
I know it’s bad for me

Or, on the off chance, he looks like a creep. Picking up a girl at the side of the street, assuming that she has no where else better to be.

That’s dark, I shake my head and center my eyes on the console. My heart is racing which is causing intrusive thoughts. I don’t necessarily dislike being with him, but it’s rather embarrassing to relive what happened earlier. The neon lighting of the clock blares that it’s way past my bedtime. 

And you know it tastes so sweet  
I think I need your abuse baby

He slowly drives down the street, and I know my house is a left after three stop lights. It’s pitch black outside, but Eren’s face seems to be illuminated by the dim, passing by, streetlights. He turns to me, noticing my gaze on him, he smiles innocently, “do you like the music?”

Sheesh, so he intentionally put on this song? “Yeah, I didn’t know you listen to Brent Faiyaz.”

His right hand moves from its firm place on the steering wheel, slowly drifting upon my thigh. It’s tentative, at first, but his hand sinks into its place on my leg. The effect is dizzying. “Of course I do,” he responded smugly, the hand on my thigh squeezes lightly. He’s hot and has a good music taste too.

Girl, you do damage to me  
You know I love it, yeah I love you

I pull myself away from his gaze and notice that he drove past my turn, “Oh, you missed my turn.” 

“I know,” he responds simply, a smirk dwelling on his lips as he accelerates. 

Ain’t nothing better for me now 

What? Where is he taking me? Maybe he is a creep, afterall, but I can feel my heart rate pick up as he continues to drive along the street. His hand on my thigh forming an almost unbearable heat. I can’t stop thinking about all the things he might do to me. I've known Eren for a long time, but only through other friends, and I know he’s a few years older than me. Sure, I think he's cute, and I might have an obsessive attraction to him, but I’ve never been alone with him besides tonight and I crave his touch. I did confess my feelings for him, and he reciprocated them, but I think it was the heat of the moment. 

Girl you do damage to me  
You know I love it, yea I love you

“I’m not too far from here,” he shifts his gaze to the windshield, he squeezes my thigh before he sets it back on the steering wheel. He doesn’t look at me for the rest of the car ride, and I don’t bother to argue with him, it’s too risky. I’d rather him drive me to his house than have to walk home. 

Ain’t nothing better for me now  
Than your poison baby

Eren turns into his neighborhood, his face no longer radiant but steely, his gaze sharp, focused on getting us home. He pulls up to the sidewalk, parking swiftly against the curb and I hear the engine turn off. I meet his eyes again and he smiles lightly. I hear my heart beating through my chest as we both sit here in silence, staring at each other. 

I break eye contact and notice the windows are getting foggy from only a few minutes, “It’s getting really humid in here, are we heading inside?” 

Another smirk grows on his face, “To finish what I started earlier?” And he steps out of the car with me quickly following. 

He grabs my hand and leads me inside of his apartment. The rest of the night is a blur.   
I wanted to wake up to the sounds of birds chirping, the soft, glowing feeling of sunlight hitting my cheek, and maybe even the ever-so fading smell of sex in the room and on the sheets. But most of all; I wanted to wake up to a muscled arm snug around my waist, a chin tucked into my neck.

But no, I woke up to the body attached to the chin and arm not besides me, but across the room getting ready for something I was very obviously not invited to. 

“Oh, you’re up. Good,” Eren is zipping up his pants, shirt half-strewn across his chest; it’d be a picture perfect moment if he didn’t say it so coldly.

Cold. He didn’t even bother to open the curtains or turn on the heater, I realize that I’m completely naked under the sheets and very cold. 

At least he gave me what he promised he would, I grimace. Thoughts temporarily race through my head of the push and pull battle we had under the sheets last night, I’m easily interrupted. 

“I have plans in a few, so can you get dressed and leave soon?” I hear him finish. Is he seriously asking me this after the night we had? Fair’s fair in a one night stand, I guess.

He leaves before I can even hum in approval, I hear him rummaging through the kitchen and starting the coffee machine. Sitting up on the bed, I use the sheets to cover up while I allow my body to settle. I’m so sore. Stretching out my body, I bend down and grab my clothes to get dressed. This feels humiliating. I just woke up and I’m getting kicked out, and I’m expected to walk home.

After finally getting dressed, I began to make my way out. “Get home safe,” he says from the kitchen, leaving me alone to start my walk of shame back home. 

* * *

“And we haven’t talked since,” I explain to Sasha, who pulls me into a hug and holds onto me tight. She’s warm. Which is all I need at this moment. 

“I didn’t know he was that kind of guy. I’m so sorry,” she whispers while tracing circles on my back. She always knows how to comfort me. 

I try to respond, but my throat feels thick and my breath is short. I can feel my lip tremble as the corner of my eyes become wet and soak into the cotton of Sasha’s shirt. Her grip tightens around me as she lets me release every bottled up emotion which were waiting to explode.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasha takes the reader to a party at Jean's house to hope to forget about Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, there is a sex scene.

I hear a soft and repetitive vibration against the mattress with a low ding to follow. My eyes flutter open, trying to protect them from the sunlight which is providing way too much light for this room. My hand reaches out, searching for the location of the vibration before reaching my phone.

Maybe it's Eren, the thought enters my mind as quickly as it leaves, but I refuse to get my hopes up. Through the blurriness of my eyes, I notice the time reads 3:36pm, which makes sense since I slept so late, and I see Sasha’s name on at least 30 texts and missed calls as I scroll through my notifications. She just left last night, what could be so important?

Before I have the chance to respond, her name appears on my screen with an obnoxious ringtone. I pressed the answer button, “There’s a party tonight!” She yells through the phone, “Jean’s throwing a party!”

I heard Jean throws the best parties, but I've never been to one. “Oh, for real? Where at?”

“His place,” Sasha still sounds excited through the phone. I wonder why she wants me to go so bad. “You’re going. You need to get out of the house. I’ll pick you up around 8,” and with that, she hangs up. 

Is Eren going to be there? No, I don’t think so. I hope not, at least. If he is, then this is my chance to prove that I don’t care about him. Ugh. Everyone’s going to be there. At least I’ll have Sasha. I have a few hours to get ready, I groan and decide to get up and shower. 

After my shower I stand in front of my mirror, examining how each piece of clothing sits on my body and how my makeup looks against the poor lighting of the room. After tying my hair up, I pull out tiny strands to frame my face. Perfect.   
I can barely stretch my legs apart without revealing the lower half of my ass, the white mini skirt I chose for tonight doesn’t leave much for the imagination, and neither does the lacy basically-a-bralette top that barely fits over my chest. After quickly crouching down to slip on my three inch heels, I finally have a chance to wear. Damn, I look good. 

Who cares if Eren is there, a bit of me screams to myself, I could get any guy I wanted in this outfit. If looks could kill… 

If looks could kill I wouldn’t be worrying about a stupid boy right now, I heave greatly and fall onto my bed. I shouldn’t be having these thoughts, not now, especially with how Eren fucking Jaeger gave me the best time of my life then went ghost on me. If I knew he was so bad for me, then why am I imagining him watching me from across the room? Pushing past packed bodies and stepping over sticky puddles of spilt booze just to meet me again? Taking me away from the safety and security of the friends I was with to push me into a deserted room and-

Do all the things I want him to do? Over and over again?

My heart rate skyrockets when I hear, very loud and clear, that Sasha’s waiting for me outside. So much for having an anxiety-free night, I grumble in haste, grabbing my pre-packed purse and rushing downstairs. 

“Hey!” I wave quickly before hopping in. It’s like this girl came with her own soundtrack, rap with loud and repetitive beats can be heard from a fifty mile radius. 

“Oh my god,” she gasps, “look at you! You look so hot.”

“Please, you look so tasty,” I laugh, scanning her up and down as a compliment. Nothing out of the usual: an immodest black tank, slightly more modest denim shorts, and beaten-up white sneakers, lastly paired with a more-than-half-eaten bag of chips.

“Did you even try saving some for me?” I reach for it but she moves it to the other hand.

“Nuh uh! These are mine! I need all the energy I can get tonight,” she pops a couple of chips into her mouth.

“Uh huh, for what?” I grin at her.

“Being your wingwoman, obviously! And of course, getting some body candy for myself.”

I frown slightly but Sasha doesn’t appear to notice, all she does is turn up the volume and pick up speed. I can’t even remember when I started to tune out the music but it didn’t take long for us to reach the party.

Or, at least, ten minutes away from the party. Every spot in the entire neighborhood must’ve been taken up by party goers. How big is this party, anyways? 

My heels being harder to walk in than I originally thought they would be, having to walk on uneven gravel and over broken Solo cups, cringing when my heel got stuck in soiled grass. Gross. With this outfit, I had to keep myself hopeful, it won’t even matter what gross stuff I have to walk in. 

Jean’s house is huge: a large, open gateway with dozens of cars parked in it’s circular driveway, people congregating on every inch of the front yard, even on sculptured bushes- yeah, sculpted bushes, that rich. 

Despite the sturdy pillars that surrounded the house, the manor was practically pulsating from the bass inside, likely where there is barely any air to breathe.

Sasha made no hesitation to skip the long line that reached from in front of the door. I realize that there’s a tall, muscular man with short blonde hair standing guard at its front, what was Sasha’s plan? 

“Reiner!” Sasha yells excitingly, taking a spot in front of the line, a loud groan coming from the pregamed freshman that must have been waiting there for hours. 

His stoic face softened momentarily, “Sasha, I haven’t seen you in a while,” he seems just as excited to see her as she is to see him. His eyes shift from hers to mine, “and you must be…” he pauses before saying my name with slight hesitation. How does he know me? I’ve never met this man in my life. “Sasha talks about you,” he lifts his hands reassuringly, “only good things, of course.”

“I hope so! It’s nice to meet you,” I reply, still trying to overcome my anxiety from earlier. Now that we’re in front of the door, it’s way scarier. I can hear a few groans and complaints from the people behind us in the line, which I would be complaining too. I wonder how long they’ve been waiting to get in. 

“Same here. You two can enter for free,” he gestures towards the door and opens it, the music blasting from inside of the house, “right this way.” Being her friend does have perks, since we both got to cut the line and enter without paying. I guess I didn’t know Jean enough that he threw parties like this, or maybe I just never paid any attention.

Sasha sets a fleeting hand on his brawn shoulder, smiling softly at him before yelling out a cheery, “thanks,” over the booming bass before we both step through the threshold, all I can hear is my own heartbeats and the rushing thoughts about Eren. 

I want to swear to myself no Eren talk but I can’t hold myself to that promise. But I think I can keep myself distracted for long enough. Hopefully.

The expansive house is filled with people packed to the brim with no room for fresh air, only the thick scent of booze and weed, lights lit enough only to see the bliss-out look on everyone's faces. Sweat flung in the air with every grind against another body. Others are lounging around on any piece of furniture that could be sat on. With Sasha’s tight grip on my hand, she pushes her way through the crowd at the entrance and I barely hear her yell my name over the music to make sure I’m following her even with her grasp on me. She makes her way over the sticky floor to the living room, where a few people are passing around a blunt.

“Yo! Jean! Connie, lemme have a hit,” Sasha pushes past more party-goers to make it into the circle. 

She pulls the blunt out of Connie’s hand to take a few hits, I watch as more smoke fills the air with every exhale. Jean takes a sip of his beer, his dazed, red eyes land on me and I notice Sasha leaving the circle, with the blunt still in her hand. 

Jean offers a soft grin in return, “I haven’t seen you two in forever,” his voice is barely heard over the loud, drumming bass, his eyes glance at me up and down, “where’ve you been?” Is he checking me out?

I can’t respond before Sasha comes back with four open bottles of beer and the blunt still hanging loosely between her fingers. I watch Sasha take a first sip of beer after distributing them among the group, choking as soon as she remembers that she doesn’t like the taste of beer.

I take my first sip as well, ignoring the burn on my tongue and forcing myself to take a hit of the blunt, letting the smoke takeover the stale aftertaste. I let the smoke leave my mouth and pass it to Ymir before taking another swig. It’s nice to finally be out of my bed for once. Tonight, I’m going to forget about Eren, no matter what it takes. 

Ymir passes the blunt to Connie and reaches into her over-the-shoulder bag to bring out a big bottle of cheap vodka. “I know there’s already some here, but this baby’s all for us.” She twists open the bottle and puts it to her lips, drinking directly from it. Once the bottle is passed to me, I take a few gulps of it and my throat burns as the vodka slides down it. 

Sasha takes one more hit of the blunt before washing it out with vodka, “I’ll be right back, I’m gonna grab some snacks,” she hands Jean the bottle before heading towards the kitchen.

“I’ll be right back too, I need to use the bathroom,” I try to speak over the music. To be honest, I just need a breather. The air reeks and I’m starting to feel woozy. 

“Just use my parents- it’s upstairs, the bedroom to the right. There shouldn’t be anyone in there,” he responds, with that same smirk over his lips.

I see stars as I leave the circle, definitely not sober but still self-aware enough that I can make it up the stairs by myself. I shove my way through groups of people packed together and I grab onto the railing to climb up. Once at the top of the stairs, I realize how big Jean’s house actually is, and I’m lost. 

I reach for the nearest door handle, hoping that it’s his parent’s room, and I feel warm arms wrap around my waist. Hot breath brushes against my ear which smells like booze, “You need help?” 

As if everything I tried to forget is now being shoved into my face. I leave myself alone and vulnerable, away from my friends, for less than five minutes and this happens. I can’t escape Eren fucking Jaeger. 

I hate to say this, but “Yeah, I do.” I swear, Eren is a drug. I can’t help myself when it comes to him, and deep down I really don’t want to. He’s so addictive and I love it. His body is warm, and his grip is so gentle. There’s no way I could be this into him and if I really want to, I could break away. 

The thing is, I don’t want to. 

It’s like he knows what I’m looking for, because he began to guide me towards the master bedroom and bring me into the room, his warm chest pressing against my backside the entire time, it’s dizzying and it takes all my strength to walk normally. I don’t understand why he’s being so nice to me, still holding me so gently in that firm grip. I can’t say I didn’t expect him to be here, but I figured he would ignore me after the hookup. 

He keeps his eyes on me as he closes the door, cornering me with each step until I fall smally onto the bed. With him standing over me, I finally get the chance to look at him: his hair’s pulled back into a messy bun, a button-up with too little buttons closed, highlighting his collarbones, and a pair of jeans that hugged his thighs perfectly. I look back up into his aquamarine eyes and realize I’ve been caught staring- I dart my eyes off to the sight and let out a small grumble. 

Eren lets out a small laugh and leans down next to my ear, his hot breath against my neck makes me shudder, “Sorry, I didn’t text you. I don’t have your number.” That’s a fucking lie. I’ve known him long enough for him to have it, plus, there are other ways to get it.

But to be honest, I don’t think I care enough to be mad at him anymore now that he’s in front of me. With me, in his arms, all of my anger is gone. “It’s fine, really,” I half smile, “thank you, though, for helping me.” What am I doing?

“It’s no problem,” he places a soft kiss against my cheek, his hand runs down the side of my waist. What’s he trying to do? “I’ll always help a pretty girl.” Wow. How many times has he used that?

I might not be sober, but he definitely isn’t either. The alcohol is undoubtedly speaking for him, and I wouldn’t lie and say it’s not speaking for me, because it certainly is. 

I don’t respond, and let myself feel his breath against my neck. “You look so fucking sexy in that skirt, you wore it on purpose, didn’t you? I’ve missed you.” he whispers and his lips barely brush against my neck and I flutter under his touch, falling deeper under his spell. I lift my hand away from my lap and reach for his hand, interlocking our fingers and tilting my head to the side to expose more of my neck, giving him my permission to continue.

He doesn’t talk to me for two weeks and I’m still letting him do anything to me.

I can barely bite back the moan that follows the gasp I make when his mouth latches onto the juncture of my throat, claiming me in the dirtiest of ways in the most inappropriate place, Jean would be so mad if he caught us- but that only adds more to the thrill. 

Eren’s knee pushes in between my legs, spreading them further and adding pressure to that sweet spot, I tilt my head back even further and release a heavy sigh. A trail of sloppy kisses and bruises are left along my neck, making their way up to my jawline before Eren hungrily places his lips against mine. I don’t fight back when he shoves his tongue in my mouth, I can taste the remnants of alcohol leftover in his mouth from earlier. The hand on my thigh makes its way up my skirt. 

I know I shouldn’t be doing this, but maybe this time it’ll be different. 

It won’t be.

His hands alone make me feel pure bliss and they make their way towards my soaked panties causing me to shudder from his touch, his finger running down my damp, covered slit. I can feel his lip grin against mine, knowing that I’m helpless against him. Cocky motherfucker. He rubs soft circles through the cotton. He digs into my bottom lip with his teeth before pulling away, keeping his eyes on me as he pauses his ministrations, I can’t help but whine a little. 

He doesn’t say anything else as he pushes my skirt past my hips and pulls down my thong, he immediately moves his gaze towards my bare pussy, desperate and twitching for his touch. I feel so embarrassed that I even took the time to shave, but I’m grateful that I did because of that blown-back look that briefly graced Eren’s face. 

He dropped down to his knees, pulling me slightly so that my wet heat would be in front of him like a five-star meal. I could have sworn I watched him lick his lips before he started to press open mouth kisses along my inner thigh.

“You’re so good to me,” he exhales, the breath catches on my clit and I can’t help but whimper. He nips at the area right next to where I need him most, drawing out a yelp from me that quickly dissolves into a keening sound. “All wet for me, princess, in the dirtiest of places? Do you always like to fuck at public events? So dirty of you.”

Before I can respond, his tongue finally lands on my slit- taking a flat long lick before paying special attention to my clit. I fall so easily in his touch, barely even remembering what he said as he flicks at my entrance.

My hands dart towards his hair and push his head farther in as he makes his way towards my clit and gives it a gentle kiss.

“Stop teasing,” I mumble, throwing one of my hands over my mouth to keep myself to a minimum. Still, though, I couldn’t stop my hips from bucking into his warm, wanting mouth. 

That droning thump of the music coming from downstairs is the last thing I hear before he begins to suck my clit fiercely, swirling his tongue around my bundle of nerves. My back arches as I squeeze my legs together, entrapping him between my thighs- it only spurs him on to suck and lick harder and faster. 

I feel the corner of my eyes become wet with tears and I gasp for air with every wave of pleasure that hits me. Eating me like I’m his last meal on Earth. 

I’m so close, but I’m so focused on myself that I fail to realize that his pace slows down and I panic as his tongue comes to a halt. I furrow my eyebrows and look down at him worried and in shock, absolutely speechless.

He pushes my legs off his shoulder and once again, towers over me- quickly moving to make sharp kisses at my jawline, “You’re not finishing without me,” he nips at my ear before going to unbuckle his belt, quickly unzipping his pants and pushing them down his hips. “You enjoy this, don’t you?” I can’t even ask what that means before I feel my breath leave my body, I watch him with wide eyes as he strokes his cock with an evil grin on his face. That's when I knew there was no antidote for the poison he gave me. 

So, I do what I can in that moment: allow him to lower me on my back. If this is what it is to die, I’ll do it gladly. I press into his touch, trying to grind myself against him, but no luck, I turn to begging, “Please fuck me,” I whine shamefully.

“Put your legs over my shoulders,” it’s not quite a demand but an expectation, watching me with steely eyes to test if I would rebel. I oblige, it’s the easiest thing in the world to rest my legs on his shoulders. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a condom, ripping it open, then he eagerly rolls it down along his length. 

Eren leans against me, earning a pained stretch from my thighs but I can’t bring myself to care. “You’re gonna take all of me,” he breathes, his eyes quickly flicking down to his cock, which is now at my entrance.

My free hand flings to the bedsheets to grip on them as he pushes past my entrance, fully sheathed inside of me. Squirming under his touch, I push myself more into him and feel my walls clench around him. 

Eren doesn’t even give me time to adjust to the sensation before thrusting into me, maintaining a steady pace as each thrust reaches deep inside of me. My back arches as his thrusts become harder, and moans muffle out against my hand. 

I move both of my hands to grab onto his face while he stares deep in my eyes and I find myself not being able to compose myself as I feel his lips press against mine. All I want is Eren.

“You have to be quiet, you know there are others here,” he whispers against my lips, placing kisses against them to keep me quiet, “unless you want to get caught, you do- don’t you, Princess? You want Jean and Sasha and Connie to walk in- watch you all spread out for me?” his hand goes down to fondle at my clit, something resembling his name comes tumbling out my lips, “You want everyone to think you’re this innocent, perfect princess? But really you’re just a slut. My slut.”

I don’t know who I am when I’m with him, but the thought of someone walking in on us is so exciting, and I can’t help myself from nodding my head in agreement as I moan out against his lips. 

“You feel so good inside of me,” I whisper as his pace begins to quicken. His hair is matted against his forehead, slick with sweat, and waves of pleasure shoot through my back as his fingers rub faster and his thrusts become harder. 

“I know I do,” he grunts as he wraps his hand around my throat again, keeping up his pace. I swear I should hate him, but he makes me feel so good and the only thing that matters right now is us. 

My mind becomes cloudy as all I can think about is the pleasure overwhelming me while he smacks against my g-spot repetitively. The sound of skin smacking is drowned out by pants and moans, and he pulls me into another kiss to keep both of us from being any louder.

He quickens his pace and lets out almost an inaudible whisper, “I’m close,” his breath’s warm against my lips as the pleasure within my hips becomes overbearing. So close. So, so close. 

I begin to gasp for air as I feel the corner of my eyes tear up the same as before, “Me too,” I barely stutter out those words as the knot in my stomach becomes tight. My back arches as he pulls me into a kiss, and I reach my climax, moaning out his name with every breath I was able to grasp onto. I pull his head down for his forehead to rest against mine and I feel his thrusts become sloppy as he reaches his climax as well, relieving himself with every deep thrust inside of me as I ride out the waves of my own climax. 

My body fully collapses onto the bed, and I watch as he catches his own breath on top of me. His hand releases from around my throat, allowing me to have a full breath of air. 

Before I get the chance to fully relax, I hear a deep, growling “get the fuck out of here,” and Eren and I both turn our heads to see Jean standing at the entrance of the door, very obvious he’s been here for a few minutes. Was he watching us? My jaw drops, but Eren doesn’t seem to care as much, as if he expected we would get walked in on. Of course.

I can’t help but feel bad as Eren buckles his pants back up, seemingly nonchalant about the whole situation, with Jean clearly very angry at him as he begins to yell a mix of “What the fuck are you doing?” and “Get out of here!” directed towards Eren. Still not loud enough for other party guests to hear, but being the loudest thing in this room. My heart begins to race, I betrayed him- didn’t I? Especially since he trusted me enough to go to his parents room. 

Being watched during sex doesn’t feel as good as I thought it would. 

The last thing I hear from Eren is, “I'll text you,” before he stands up, giving a half-assed apology to Jean. I sit up on the bed, and pull my skirt down to cover myself as Eren leaves the room, as if he didn’t give a damn about getting caught. Or maybe he wanted to get caught.

I can feel my cheeks burn as Jean turns to me and lowers himself down to reach my eyes, “Are you okay?” he asks once he knows for sure that Eren is completely out of earshot. He isn’t mad at me? I’m completely appalled, unsure of how to respond because I expected for him to yell at me as well. “I’m sorry I left you alone, I should've come here with you.” 

“You’re fine,” I whisper, “it’s my fault.”

Jean pulls me into a quick hug, startling me when his hand rubs my lower back, before pulling away. “No, it’s my fault for leaving you alone. It’s that stupid fucking Jaeger.” He grumbles, “Let’s go back to the party whenever you’re ready. I’ll wait outside.” 

With that, Jean leaves the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts and my lack of self awareness. He doesn’t even know what happened between Eren and I, so there’s no reason for him to be sympathetic. 

I go to stand up, and feel a cool breeze between my thighs. Right, my panties. My eyes scan the room, hands paw at the bed, and they’re nowhere to be found. 

Oh.

Eren took them.

I sink into the bed. Embarrassment overwhelms me, yet anger and sadness both do as well, and I feel so unbelievably used by him. My stomach becomes a tight pit and my shoulders begin to feel weighed down. I realize that he doesn’t even have my number to text me either and I feel my blood pumping through my veins from ambivalence. How many has he collected? Am I just another added to the list?

I’m deeper in this than I thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shitty hangover is a souvenir from Jean's party last night and reminiscing with old friends bring out secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow my tiktok @/hulagal621 to get updated on new chapters!

I hear my parents close the door shut through the pounding of my head as they leave for their week-long trip and finally, I have the house to myself for once. It’s been a day since Jean’s party, and I’m stuck in bed with a shitty hangover and humiliation from last night.

I can’t even remember how I got home, or how I even got back to the group afterwards. I shudder at the thought that the last thing I remember is what happened in Jean’s parent’s bedroom and the already-settled pit in my stomach sinks deeper. I’m so thankful for Jean, though. I guess Eren did make it very clear that we are only hooking up, but the embarrassment from last night is worth it because, to be fair, that’s the best dick I’ve had of my life. Better than our first hookup.

But taking my panties though, really? Is that even necessary?

I take the time to realize that I actually have underwear on underneath my pajamas, which I can’t even remember how I put them on. I’m too afraid to ask anyone who was at the party about what happened after Jean found me. Reliving last night is not on my bucket list, that’s for sure. 

Besides that, I need information on Eren because why the fuck did he take my panties, like, who does that? And the pet names too? I bet his own friends don’t even know he gets like that. It’s like he’s a different person. My thoughts exhaust me, and I spread out on my bed and groan in frustration. I’ll never understand that man. 

I decide to get out of bed and get a glass of water in an attempt to rehydrate myself and hopefully cure my nausea. Peering into the living room from the kitchen, I nearly drop my glass of water when I see a brunette head pressed into the couch watching TV.

“Someone’s finally up,” I hear a voice yell from the living room. 

I jump back, startled for a second before I realize that it’s Sasha. “You scared the fuck out of me.” I pause and drink some of my water, “My parents didn’t say anything about you being here?” I walk into the living and plop down by her feet on the couch. Her head’s on top of a pillow with her body laid out across the couch and a blanket covering her. 

“No, they love me,” she smirks, “but they said to not throw any parties.” She giggles before groaning in pain from her own hangover induced headache. 

“I need at least a week break from all of that.” I smile in return, knowing both of our heads are in definite, pounding pain. “How come you slept out here?”

“I didn’t. I just woke up earlier than you and didn’t want to disturb your-” she pauses and holds up air quotes, “beauty sleep,” 

I roll my eyes in response and laugh. I guess Sasha being here makes today bearable. I can’t even remember how she got here in the first place, but I’m glad she’s here because she’s a distraction from my anxiety. 

“What happened last night?” I ask and can only hope that she doesn't know what happened between Eren and I. My cheeks puff out as I hold my breath and wait for her response. 

Her lips curve into another smirk, “You mean you don’t remember Jean being your savior last night after your secret rendezvous with Eren? I left you alone for two seconds.” She emphasizes amusingly and nudges me with her foot. 

Goddammit. 

“So, you know about that?” That’s embarrassing. Hopefully not everyone else does.

“Everyone in the group we met up with does,” Fuck, I jinxed myself. She furrows her brows together, “You mean you don’t remember any of that?”

“Not at all. What happened after Jean came into the room?” 

My heart begins to beat through my veins, but at least I don’t feel too awkward around her. “Jean took you downstairs to the rest of us, explained what happened, and told us to get you home. Did he walk in on you? Because he was definitely pitching a tent in his pants.” 

My eyes widen, and I'm taken aback from that statement. He got turned on from that? I ignore it and brush it off, refocusing my attention on Sasha, hoping she’s joking. 

Sasha continues, “None of us were sober enough to drive though, but we know Historia doesn’t drink or smoke and he asked her to drive you home.” She sits up and pulls the blanket closer to her, more than likely having the hangover-chills. “She was more than happy to, and I crashed here for the night because I didn’t want to leave you alone, even with your parents here.”

I smile in awe, “Thank you, that means a lot to me,” I scoot over towards her and pull her into a tight hug, “but you have to promise to not talk about last night. Did I do anything embarrassing?”

She lets out a loud laugh, not remotely trying to contain it and very obviously implying that I, in fact, was embarrassing. “Besides you telling Historia and I explicit details about your hookup with Eren in the car ride home? I can’t believe he robbed you of cute underwear. I got you dressed in your pajamas once we got home, too. All that matters is that you’re safe. You weren’t blacked out for the hookup though, right?”

Of course I couldn’t shut up. Was I really that drunk? Whatever, I can’t change the past. I pull away from the hug, keeping the smile on my face. “No, I definitely remember that.”

“Good,” she sighs in relief. 

Last night sounds like a mess and it’s unfortunate that I can’t remember much, but at least my friends have my back. Everytime I’m with Eren, it’s like I feed into an addiction I can’t control, and it feels like I have withdrawals when I’m not with him. I usually only see him around other people. For the amount of time I’ve known him, the first time I was completely alone with him was in his car, so It’s not like this is normal either. 

Or maybe I just don’t know him as well as I thought I did. Maybe no one does. 

I need to figure out how I can get information on Eren.

There’s only two people who’ve been close with him since we were kids. I have an idea. “Sasha, we should hang out with Mikasa and Armin.” 

Sasha raises an eyebrow and turns her head to look at me, “You never hang out with them alone, why all of a sudden?” 

I shrug, “We haven’t seen them in a minute and I thought maybe today is a good time to catch up. Reminisce.”

Both brows life and her jaw drops, “You want to get information about Eren out of them, don’t you?”

“I never said that,” I explain, but unfortunately it’s the awful truth.

“I’m not against it, but we have to actually hang out with them, y’know? Don’t use them or anything,” She reaches into her phone and her thumbs move fast as she types out what I believe is a text. “And sent.”

“That was fast,” I say in amusement, and immediately after her phone dings. 

“Mikasa says they’d love to come, and they’ll be here around two, which gives us a few hours. Let’s at least get snacks and maybe a pizza,” she suggests, trying to cover up the real reason for the invitation, but I also know she loves food. I mean, it would be nice to hang out with them alone, especially since I haven’t hung out with only them since we were younger. 

* * *

I check the clock and it’s around 1:45pm. A large pepperoni pizza sits steaming on the coffee table in the living room with a bowl of chips and dip sitting next to it. 

A loud knock on the door startles the both of us, but Sasha walks over to it and answers it. “It’s so nice to see you guys!” She cheers, pulling each of them into a hug individually. 

I follow shortly after and pull Mikasa into a hug first, then Armin. It’s actually relieving to see them. They’re preventing me from thinking about last night.

The four of us make our way back to the living room, scatteredly sitting down on the floor. Sasha brings the pizza box down to the center of all of us and we begin to eat with the TV playing some kid show in the background. It kind of feels like old times, when we were kids. Except, I met Sasha in high school and the other two in middle school.

We had a few classes together in middle school but not as much as high school, seeing as they are a year older than me. To be frank, we only talked because of Eren. It wasn’t serious at all, some half-assed schemes to get him to fall in love with me and some ideas on floral patterns for the wedding. Never thought we’d all be friends outside of high school. 

“How’s everything been?” I ask both of them.

Armin decides to start, “I received a scholarship opportunity from my college to study ocean life by living on a boat for a few months.” 

My eyes widen, “wow, congrats! I’m proud of you.” I cheer, Sasha giving a somewhat similar response to mine. He was passionate about marine life in high school, I knew he was perfect for this kind of career. 

“Thank you, I’ll leave in a few months.” He sighs with a hint of melancholy in his voice, as if he’s going to be gone for longer.

“That sucks, I barely get to see you now,” Sasha replies while frowning, “but it’ll be worth it. What about you Mikasa? Up to anything?”

Mikasa looks up before speaking, “I haven't really figured it out yet. I either want to be a chef or a fashion designer.” That’s definitely not something I expected, but she continues before any of us respond, “I know; those are vastly different.”

“I remember that you took home-economics in high school!” Sasha says, and I express my agreement, “but please become a chef so I can taste test all the delicious food you make.”

We all laugh together, my anxiety seems to drift away and all my worries disappear as the conversation goes on. Finally, the thought of Eren escapes my mind and it feels like nothing ever happened. The four of us reminisce on childhood memories and things feel right, even just for a few, and sometimes these moments feel like they’ll last forever.

They never do, though.

“Oh I need to know,” Armin shifts his gaze towards me, “Do you still like Eren?”

Son of a bitch.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Sasha’s eyes widen as she glances between Armin and I, and it looks like Mikasa’s trying to suppress laughter. I forgot that Mikasa knows I hooked up with him at Sasha’s party two weeks ago, but I don’t think Armin has any idea because he wasn’t there. Unless, of course, someone snitched.

I contemplate lying to Armin, but I decide that it’s too risky because he could possibly know already. I think deep down inside I want him to know. “Oh- uh, yeah. I still do.” 

“That’s cute, you’ve liked him since middle school! You were always too shy to talk to him without us being there.” His eyes squint as he beams; cheerful as always, but seemingly oblivious to the whole situation. “We all tried to hook you guys up, too bad that never happened.”

So, Armin doesn’t know, but that means Eren kept us a secret from him? His own best friend?

I glance over to Sasha and Mikasa, signaling for them to not say anything to upset Armin. I can’t believe Jean’s big-mouth didn’t say anything either, but what hurts is that Eren hasn’t even talked about it. Not even with Armin. I really am just a secret. My heart drops to my stomach and in all honesty, I feel like shit. Everything we’ve been doing hasn’t meant a single thing to him. 

But I already knew that, didn’t I?

Before I get the chance to respond, Armin shrugs and continues, “I was really rooting for you two, but he has a girlfriend now.”

A what?

This entire time?

Mikasa’s jaw drops, and I assume she didn’t know either. Sasha smacks her hand across her mouth, and neither says anything. I can only hope that he only told Armin about this supposed relationship to save me from some embarrassment at least, or to save the poor girl from embarrassment. Besides the fact that Armin just told three people. Bless his heart. I never thought Eren would be a cheater. 

“When did he tell you this? He didn’t even tell me.” Mikasa says with quiet distress, surprised that he’s keeping something this important from her. I wouldn’t want Sasha to keep anything from me, so I can’t imagine how she feels.

Armin raises an eyebrow, “He didn’t tell you? He told me around two weeks ago, but he said they’ve been together for a few months.”

I feel a discomfort in my stomach and it’s tight and heavy. I might just actually throw up from this bullshit. I rub my hand against my forehead and try to process while Sasha scoots over to me and rests her head on my shoulder in reassurance. Mikasa pulls her knees to her chest, and I'm unsure if she feels betrayed or is sympathetic for me. It’s like Eren’s a completely different person when he’s around certain people and he becomes a different person in bed. 

“What’s her name?” I ask Armin.

He shrugs, “He didn’t tell me. Actually, he didn’t tell me anything about her at all.” 

This all seems very suspicious, but I know Armin wouldn’t lie about something like this. 

Anyway, that completely killed the mood. Sasha and Mikasa stand up to help clean off the ground, signaling that Mikasa and Armin are leaving to go sort things out. Armin’s brows crease and he looks at me with a worried look as he stands up, pulling me up off the floor and into a tight hug. He whispers apologies into my ear to show some empathy, but only because he thinks I’m upset that Eren’s in a relationship, not because he's been cheating on someone else with me. Armin still doesn’t know about Eren and I. 

As Mikasa and Armin make their way out of the front door, Sasha walks Mikasa outside and from the looks of it, neither of them know what to feel, but I know Sasha’s trying to distract her. I grab Armin’s forearm to prevent him from getting further away, and pull him back towards me.

“What is it-”

“Eren and I have been secretly hooking up for a few weeks now.”

Armin stares at me, his face a mixture of confusion and possibly anger, but he can’t stay mad for long, especially because he always tries to see the good in people. One of his hands is placed on my shoulder in reassurance as he stares at me; speechless for just a moment. 

“What about those two?” He gestures with his free hand towards the two girls outside. “Do they know?” 

I nod and let out a sigh, “They do. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner. Please don’t mention anything to Eren. I’ll figure it out.”

Actually I have no idea how to figure it out, and I would never admit to Armin before I admit to myself that I’m being manipulated by Eren. I don’t even have any contact with him. This is a fucking messy situation that I got myself in. None of us even know who this girl is so we can’t contact her and let her know that she’s being cheated on. Eren obviously only wants certain people to know that we’ve been linking up and certain people to know that he’s in a relationship. I might just have to participate in his game to figure it out. 

Armin promises that he won’t say anything and makes his way out of the door to catch up with Mikasa and leave as Sasha and I say our goodbyes. There’s only one other person who has firsthand experienced Eren and I.

I should text Jean.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Jean have an unexpected visitor at the park. Was Armin lying about Eren?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is long so bare with me. Also, make sure to check out my tiktok (@/hulagal621) for updates.

“Don't feel embarrassed, you had no idea.”

Jean places his hand on top of mine, which is on the table in between us, to calm me down. My tears are still warm against my cheeks as the breeze blows against my face. I’ve been sitting on this cold park table-bench for a half hour explaining, more like crying about the information that Armin gave me a few days ago with Jean sitting on the other side and facing me. The sun’s beaming down on us and the table umbrella is barely large enough to provide enough shade. After Armin and Mikasa left that day, I was still in a fragile state and didn’t want to be left alone, so I texted Jean asking him to hang out. He offered for me to come hang out with him at the park. 

“I know, I know,” I sigh from exhaustion, tired from the mental strain Eren puts on me. Or the mental strain I put on myself, actually. “Thank you for letting me talk.” I wipe away my nearly dried up tears with the back of my hand and smile.

He grins in return, “It’s no problem. Thanks for trusting me.” I can barely feel the soft sensation of his thumb rubbing gentle circles against the top of my hand before my eyes shift to his.

My mind started to drift and I thought about the incident from the party. I couldn't tell if it really happened, or if it was just another one of Sasha's shitty jokes, but neither Jean nor I dared to bring up the "obvious boner" that was in his pants. I can tell he definitely didn’t forget, but I’ll save both of us from the embarrassment. Jean mentioned that he isn’t mad at me about having sex in his parents bedroom either, but he expressed some resentment towards Eren. He’ll get over it, but I wonder why he’s not mad aƒt me. Whatever, he really is a good friend, though, for letting me talk about this with him since not many know that Eren is in some mysterious relationship, and I only plan letting Jean in on this secret.

My gaze averts from his eyes to his lips as I watch his tongue drag across his bottom lip with the intent to wet them. My mind plays this fantasy out a little longer, and for a quick second I wonder what they felt like, wondering if he might’ve been wetting them just for me.

Jesus. What am I thinking?

Before I get to say anything, I hear my name being yelled from across the park followed by, “Jean!”

I forgot that Connie’s invited too. 

Jean and I turn our heads in the direction of the voice, both jerking our hands away from each other. In an instant, I cross my arms to rest against myself, and feel a wave of embarrassment flush over me as if I got caught doing something I shouldn’t be doing. We weren’t even doing anything so there’s no reason to be this nervous. 

What’s wrong with me?

Connie makes his way towards the table while dribbling a basketball against the sidewalk before catching it and sitting down on the seat next to Jean. He places the ball on the floor between his feet and high fives Jean before sliding his hand out and fistbumping him.

“Oh God. Get a room,” Connie winks at us.

My eyes widen and I look at Jean, whose cheeks had turned a light pink. I immediately looked down, hyperfocusing on a small leaf resting by my foot, trying to distract myself from the embarrassment. Jean surprisingly keeps his composure well enough and laughs at the lame joke. Wait, why’s he blushing? No, no, he was probably just caught off guard. It’s not like I see Jean in that way anyway.

Then why can I feel my own cheeks becoming hot? 

“We were just talking about the party I threw,” I glance up and notice the pink in Jean’s face dissipate. Probably just trying to change the subject, hoping to distract himself from the idea of us being alone together in a room, but I have nothing to help stop my own unexplainable butterflies. 

Connie observes me with a somewhat pitiful look in his eyes, “Wassup? I haven’t heard from you since the party.” I think he notices my puffy eyes from the sympathetic look on his face, but I know he’s not going to bring it up for the sake of my comfort. “How’ve you been?” he asks. 

“I’ve been better.” I brush off his question with a shrug, ignoring my own feelings, “You?” I didn’t get the chance to talk to Connie much at the party, especially since I’d happened to be getting busy upstairs. I remember that he had been part of Jean’s group that tried to figure out how to get me home.

Sasha wouldn’t tell Connie about our conversation with Armin either, only because she wouldn’t want to humiliate me like that, even though she loves to gossip whenever she’s not stuffing her face with food. Neither Mikasa nor Armin would spread shit anyway. 

“I’m good,” he replies, “But I heard what happened at the party. I know that Eren’s a homie, but he can be a dickhead too. You know I got your back and if you need anything, let me know.” He replies and nudges Jean’s arm, a mischievous look forming on his face, “Jean too, especially if you need anything to forget about Eren.”

Jean backhands Connie’s upper arm while rolling his eyes, “Will you shut up?” 

“All I’m saying is that maybe a new body will get her mind off of Eren.”

Jean’s face flushes pink again, this time darker than the last while I place my hand against my mouth. Connie is seemingly focused on innuendos, but I can’t tell if that’s how he regularly acts or if he knows something that I don’t. 

That’s besides the point, because Jean’s been consistently helping me out with the Eren situation. Plus, didn’t he have a thing with Mikasa a while back? I thought they had a fling going on at Sasha’s party, but it’s really not my business and I don’t want to get into it. 

Jean doesn’t respond to Connie’s statement, and stares at the basketball between Connie’s legs, “Let’s shoot some hoops?”

Connie immediately responds with, “Bet,” and picks up the basketball while standing up. He shifts his eyes towards me, “Can you record?”

“Sure,” I respond with another shrug. I didn’t plan on playing basketball anyways, all I wanted was to vent about Eren. 

“Thanks,” Jean responds, glancing at me with a hint of concern in his eyes before him and Connie stand up and make their way towards the basketball court which is near where we’re sitting. Jean leaves his phone unlocked with the camera on the screen. 

As soon as they start dribbling on the court, I pick up the phone and begin to record them. I watch as Connie makes a 3-pointer through the phone camera and then passes it to Jean, which he follows with shooting another hoop. I continue to watch them through the camera as they both shoot the ball through the basket, playing a mediocre game of basketball. I’d rather do this than play, anything to distract me to be honest. I appreciate them both for inviting me, and I got to spend some alone time with Jean for the first time. I just need to wait a few months for the whole situation to blow over. 

But overall, I’m actually starting to feel better about everything, and my mind finally begins to relax. Being outside and having fresh air is helping me have a better outlook on the issue, and things just might turn out okay in the end. I know I have the ability to get past this because now I know he’s in a relationship, which destroyed all hope I had and is giving me the chance to move on. 

“What are you doing here?”

Motherfucker.

I shift my gaze towards the voice, knowing damn well who it is.

Eren Jaeger

I place the phone on the table and face towards him with anger that completely vanishes and turns into infatuation when we make eye contact. His teal eyes staring down at me with his hair pulled into another half-assed bun. I break eye contact to notice a familiar looking girl that I’ve never met before standing next to him. She has wavy chin-length honey colored hair that frames her face and is holding a couple of textbooks pressed to her chest. Her light green eyes are very noticeable and I catch myself staring at them for just a second too long. She’s gorgeous.

Is that his girlfriend? 

“I’m just here with Jean and Connie,” I gesture towards the basketball court and take stable breaths to calm myself down from being flustered, pretending as if nothing ever happened between us. He’s cheating on her?

He raises a brow, a confused look forming across his face as if he doesn’t want me around Jean and he wants me all for himself. Maybe that would be true in at least some other twisted fantasy of mine. The expression on his face quickly disappeared once he realized he had made a physical reaction to my statement. “Oh, this is Hitch, by the way.”

Now I remember her. I’ve seen her on an instagram post that a distant friend, Annie, posted a while back. Her and Annie were best friends for a long time, but Hitch went to a different high school than us and I’m unsure if they’re still friends, especially since most of us go to a local college. 

“Nice to meet you!” She says enthusiastically. I reach out my hand to shake hers and introduce myself. They have to be dating because Eren’s never mentioned her before and I’ve never seen them together. 

Eren turns his gaze towards her, “Now that you two have met, could you please give us a second,” he tries to say in the nicest way possible and makes up for it by gently squeezing her upper arm. What does he want and why would he want to be alone with me? She nods and complies, giving me a wave goodbye before stepping back and making her way towards the opposite side of the basketball court to watch Jean and Connie play as a distraction, far enough to not hear our conversation.

I tilt my head in confusion and look at Eren. My heart’s beating through my chest, completely exposing just how nervous I am, loud enough that he might hear it. He sits down on the bench next to me, a little too close for comfort as his shoulder barely brushes against mine, and the faint scent of sandalwood from his cologne, seeping into my memory. My body becomes hot as his scent reminds me of the sensation of his fingers against my skin and his sweat rubbing off on me. 

Fuck, I don’t need this right now. 

My mind keeps going back to that night, and I catch myself staring at his hand, remembering how it felt gripped around my throat while the other slipped between my thighs.

“So, how’ve you been?” He interrupts my thoughts, and my eyes immediately dart towards the smirk plastered across his face. Cocky bastard. 

“Oh, you know... the usual. Nothing really new.” I uncomfortably shift my body as I feel his eyes piercing through my skin, watching my every move. Is he even listening to me?

He lifts his head and glances towards the basketball court before shifting his eyes back to mine, “So you’re hanging out with Jean now, huh?” He tilts his head, gesturing over to the basketball court. 

I don’t even try to hide the confusion on my face. Why does he care? “Yeah, my parents aren’t home for the week and I’ve been bored, so I asked him to hang out,” I explain with a shrug.

Before I can explain myself, the smirk on his lips disappears. “And who told you that was okay?”

Excuse me? I raise my eyebrows in astonishment, dumbfounded from his statement. I take a deep breath to keep my composure and remain calm. “What do you mean?”

Eren’s anger is very subtle, and I wouldn’t be able to tell if we were strangers, but as his jaw clenches just for a second, I can feel the tension forming between us.  
“Oh, c’mon. Don’t play dumb,” his voice drops very low, as if he’s restraining all of the built up irritation and jealousy inside of him, “you know he likes you, right?”

My mouth drops open and I stare at him without blinking. My body completely freezes up and I’m unable to move while my face quickly becomes hot and begins to burn, my stomach feeling uneasy. I know my face is red by the way his eyes are focused on my cheeks, and I just know he’s getting off to the idea of me fully submitting to him. He’s just trying to get a rise out of me, I know that. Why else would he have said it? 

“No, no. We’re just friends,” I try to protest, disbelieving that Jean has feelings for me. Maybe it’s because he makes my heart beat just a little faster than normal, but he doesn’t make me feel the way Eren does. I don’t want to ultimately choose between the two of them, even if Eren isn’t an option. For some masochistic reason, I prefer to torture myself by clinging onto Eren by allowing lust to control my brain. 

“Friends don’t get turned on by watching you get fucked.”

Sasha wasn’t joking about the hard-on in his pants? Still at a loss for words, I glance over at Jean who is still completely focused on his average game of basketball with Connie, and even Hitch is completely distracted by watching them play. 

I turn back to Eren and shake my head, “It’s all just a big misunderstanding.” Which is the greatest thing I can come up with. 

Eren leans his head in towards me with his face nearly pressed up against mine and there’s pressure on my knee where he places his hand. Too close. I feel like I'm drowning, suffocating with guilt as his girlfriend’s not too far from us. 

He speaks in an almost whisper, “You’re stupid, you know that? You’re that desperate for dick that you had to go to Jean, the guy who looks the most similar to me?”

I’m unable to break away as his hand gently squeezes my knee, but I know he won’t go on unless I consent. Yet, I don’t want to break away, even though the guilt is becoming almost unbearable to deal with. With a few drinks, Jean could definitely look like Eren, and now I find myself wondering if that’s the only reason I wanted to hang out with him.

That can’t be true. Everything Eren’s saying is to take advantage of me. It’s like he gains a sense of power when he manipulates me, knowing I am completely vulnerable under his command. “No, I don’t like him like that,” and at this point I’m trying to convince myself that Eren’s lying, or maybe I’m trying to prove to Eren that I’m loyal to him even if he’s the shittiest person in the world after he gets what he wants. 

I place my hand on his to prevent him from continuing, especially since I don’t plan on fucking in broad daylight in the middle of a park. I’m unprotected as he fondles me and whispers, “You sure you don’t like Jean, princess?” 

And suddenly I remember the soft mattress of Jean’s parent’s bed and the faint leftover taste of alcohol on my tongue, right before Eren’s head was between my legs. I shudder at that thought, submitting to his touch as he’s nearly towering over me on this bench.

“You miss my touch, don’t you?” His words flow so easily out of his mouth, like water flowing through a shallow stream. He knows just exactly what to say for my legs to go weak. It’s almost comforting because he seems to know exactly what I want, confirming that he needs me just as much as I need him.

Yeah, I do miss him, but I’d never admit that to him. At least not in a public place. “Isn’t your girlfriend here?”

Eren lets out a low laugh before pulling his hand away from my thigh and scooting an inch or two back. Why’d he stop and why do I wish he wouldn’t? He pulls at my strings like I’m a useless marionette on a stage and he’s the skilled puppet-master putting on a performance in front of an empty theater. 

“Hitch?” He asks with a hint of confusion in his voice. 

Before I can answer, I feel a pair of hands resting on both of my shoulders from behind and a sense of relief washes over me, instantly calming down my nerves. I don’t actually want Eren to answer that half-rhetorical question so I won’t have to stare in his eyes and find out that I’m the one he’s cheating on his girlfriend with. 

I look up and lean my head back, catching Jean peering down at me from above with a subtle worried look in his eyes, his forehead glistening from sweat from his basketball game, “Hey, we’re heading out soon,” he says, completely disregarding Eren right in front of us. 

I nod in acknowledgement, staring up into his eyes. He’s like my savior of some-sort, but I don’t think I need saving from Eren, or at least I don’t want any saving from him. Jean’s like a Get Out of Jail Free card that I don’t want, but crave ever-so desperately to continue this game I’m involved in.

His face leans down towards mine, “Are you alright, though?’ and he’s inches away from my lips. A quick second passes, and it comes across my mind that maybe I do wanna kiss him in an overacting attempt to get back at Eren. Or maybe just because I want to know what his lips feel like from earlier. Before I decide, he makes the decision for me by lifting his head up and looking at Eren, with goosebumps covering my skin once I come to a realization of my own thoughts. I can’t believe I even thought about kissing him.

“Oh. Hey, Eren,” Jean says with slight irritation in his voice, and I notice his throat strain from clenching his jaw while I’m still looking up at him. I’m unsure if he’s holding a grudge about the sex-stained bedsheets or if he saw Eren pushed up against me a few moments ago. 

I lift my head up to refocus my attention from Jean to Eren, watching him try to keep his composure as it’s very evident that Eren’s resentful of him. “Hey, Jean,” he pauses with a smug look in his eyes, “notice any new marks on your sheets?” Anything to piss him off. 

I feel the grip around my shoulders tighten as his fingers sink into my skin. Ouch. Jean takes a deep inhale and keeps his teeth together as he remarks, “How about I make new marks on this concrete with your blood?”

Eren lets out a genuine laugh to try and relieve the pressure, but Jean’s death-drip doesn’t loosen up and I can feel them already forming bruises. It’s slightly painful, but not enough for me to intervene as the tension between them begins to grow. I’m forced to be a cushion of protection between these two who always have something to bitch about. 

“I’m just kidding, Jean. Lighten up,” Eren responds to the death threat Jean just threw at him. I’m pretty sure he notices my uncomfortable position in this predicament. He’s holding onto me as he’s afraid he’ll lose me if he lets go. I should say something, but I don’t want to get involved. 

“Guys, cut it out,” Connie says with a raised voice as he approaches us from the basketball court, no longer glossy with sweat and with the ball tucked underneath his arm, Hitch following behind him. The grasp on my shoulders finally loosens up and my back relaxes into Jean. Connie daps up Eren to greet him, all while trying to stay out of the conflict between the three of us and remain neutral. “Both of you need to relax.”

Jean lets out a loud sigh, “He’s right,” and he lets go of my shoulders, leaving me feeling cold. Even with his hands gone, I can still feel their warmth from when they were resting on me. I come to terms that I miss his protective touch. 

God, no, he’s just a friend. I need to stop with these horny thoughts. 

Eren agrees, and Jean decides to finally let go of the grudge he has against him. Or at least pretend to let go to please everyone else. Or maybe just to please me. If he wasn’t mad at me then he shouldn’t have been mad at Eren. Double standards. I don’t want to be in between their stupid bickering, but I’ll admit that Jean getting bent out of shape about Eren and I having sex makes me somewhat hot and bothered. 

“I’ll text you,” Connie says directed towards Hitch, suggesting that they were able to have their own conversation while I had to deal with the immaturity of Jean and Eren. I notice that Connie winks at her and she follows with a giggle. Isn’t that Eren’s girlfriend?

What the fuck? Do they normally just cheat on each other like that?

Maybe Connie is just an absolute moron? It leaves me wondering what the hell I missed out on being trapped here with Eren. 

Eren stands up from the bench and faces me. “I’ll see you later,” he insists with a devilish look across his face. What does he mean by that? He expresses his goodbyes through waving his hand before muttering, “C’mon, Hitch, let’s go.” With that, they both head towards the direction of a table on the other side of the park, far away from any distractions. 

I notice Connie pick up the phone that I left on the table and hands it over to Jean who slips it into his back pocket. 

“I’ll catch you guys later,” Connie throws both thumbs up and heads towards his car. 

I turn around on my seat, getting ready to stand up when Jean stands in front of me and leans down just enough so he’s at my eye-level, but still towering over me. What’s he doing? His breath blows against my ear, “I’m just glad you’re okay,” he speaks in a low voice before I feel his lips softly press against my cheek. “Let me take you home.”

* * *

The car ride home consisted of me forcing myself to respond to Jean’s casual conversation because I was too bashful for my own damn good. For the past few hours, I’ve been sitting curled up on the couch blankly staring at the TV as it plays some old cartoon reruns I can’t bother to pay attention to. My mind is non-stop replaying how his lips felt against my cheek. All he did was kiss my cheek and I can’t stop thinking about it. At least I know what his lips feel like now, at least my cheek does. 

I haven’t told Sasha about what happened yet, but I wish I did because I definitely need her right now, but I need time to process this by myself. He’s just a friend and I’m all worked up over it, but I guess anyone would. If what Eren said was true and Jean actually likes me, then who else knows about this? Is that why he was so mad at Eren when he walked in on us, but not mad at me?

It’s not true. Jean was just being a good friend. A good friend who kisses their friend’s cheeks in reassurance, obviously. 

Yeah, that sounds stupid. 

I throw my head back and sink back into the couch, a defeated sigh escaping my lips. I wish this was all over. I don’t understand what was happening between Connie and Hitch because I swear she’s Eren’s girlfriend. Either way, Eren’s in a relationship and I don’t want Jean to be my rebound.

I should’ve stayed with Jean at his party. 

My head perks up as a car with a loud engine approaches my house from down the street, my house slightly shaking from the vibrations emitting from the car. I divert my attention back to the TV and brush off the noise. It’s just someone passing by, but the engine sounds so familiar. Glancing at the digital clock on the TV stand, I see that it’s nearly midnight. I hear it slow down to a stop at the sidewalk in front of my house. My parents don’t come home for another few days, so who’s in front of my house this late? I pick up the remote to turn off the TV, giving off the illusion that no one’s home. 

I lay there in complete silence for a few seconds. Better safe than sorry, I don’t want my parents to find my body once they get home from their vacation and end up on the news if there’s some deranged serial killer at my door.

Being too focused on my thoughts, I barely hear the soft knock on the door. My body freezes up for a few moments while I hold my breath to make sure there’s absolutely no noise at all coming from the house. 

There’s another knock on the door, not any louder than the first. I mean, if it was a serial killer, they probably wouldn’t knock. I hope so, at least. I carefully and quietly stand up from the couch, walking on my toes to the front door to peer through the small opening to view the outside.

Oh, my executioner.

I reach for the locks and pull the door open, my entire body being visible to the outside. I’m being stared down at like a predator waiting and listening to hunt their prey. The feeling of vulnerability returns, trapping me in my own body with only a set of eyes.

“What’re you doing here, Eren?”

Eren takes a step forward and grabs onto my shoulders, “I said earlier that I’d see you later, didn’t I?” He says in a hushed tone, pulling me close to him. 

He’s standing tall over me and his scent is so overwhelming that I might just surrender into him. There’s a wicked look in his eyes that makes me feel small while he stares down at me, but makes me melt all at the same time while I stare back up at him. The devilish look from earlier returns on his face, so sure of himself that he always gets what he wants, no matter what it takes. He’s so cocky that I can’t ignore my desire for him, and I always find myself wanting more regardless of the end results. Maybe I deserve this, playing with Jean’s feelings because I can't figure out my own. It’s not my fault, I just really need a distraction from Eren. I’ve convinced myself that he wants me just as bad as I want him, and I know I’m going to repent my sins by living through the consequences.


End file.
